There’s a saying, “a real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out” . Yes, a good friend is someone who’s there to provide support when times are tough and someone you can rely on. But often, you are confused about how to soothe and comfort your friend. Here are something you should know when your friend need consolation
1. Listen first
Listen to what he told, don’t cut off before he finished his talk or ask your opinion. Focus your eyes on him and be an active listener, when your friends stop for a while and look at your reaction, repeat what he just said, but in your own words, to show that you’re really listening.
2. Focus on positive things
Give compliments to the positive things from him. Express what you admire about your friend and give a thought to him that he has something to be grateful. For example: When he had just broken up from his girlfriend, you can comfort him by saying, “you still have family and friends who care about you” or “you are handsome / smart anyway, surely there will be another girl who can appreciate you ”
3. Let him vent his emotions
If he cries or express the problem with great emotion. Let him. He just wants to let go all the burden of his mind, don’t press him to settle quickly. After he is satisfied and relieved, then it’s your turn to say something.
4. Hug him
A hug, generally, can channel positive energy from someone to the other. A hug can make a connection between you and your friend. He will be able to feel your love, care, and sympathy towards him. Don’t do this if your friend feels uncomfortable with hugging (Depending on our respective cultures, sometimes if your friend is the opposite sex, he will feel awkward )
5. Say that you always support him
Tell him that whatever mistakes he did, or something that he experienced, he is still your friend. You’ll always be there for him, listen, and help him.
6. Offer your assistance
If you feel you can do something practical for him, offer him. For example, when he just got fired from his job, and you’re running a business, you can ask him to work at your place.
7. Offer to do activities that he likes
After your friend feel relieved, you can ask him to play some games, watch a movie together, karaoke, take a walk or whatever he likes. By doing something he likes, he will be kept away from negative thoughts and create a new spirit in him.
1. Don’t worry if you can’t solve his problem. Sometimes, he is happy enough if you want to listen. Don’t give any advice that you, yourself, are not sure because it’s just misleading him. If he agrees, you can bring him to others who you think can help him.
2. Don’t tell his problem to someone else. It will only make your friend doesn’t trust you anymore.
3. If you feel that he is in trouble, and when you ask “Do you have any problem?” , he doesn’t want to tell you, don’t press him with such question because it will actually make him feel upset. If he really needs someone else, eventually he’ll tell you.
4. Avoid talking about your problem. Even if your problem is similar to his. You have to say positive things.
5. When he is telling you his problem, don’t listen with the reluctant and lazy body language but listen to him with an enthusiastic body language.